okay, instead of doing my music and business homework, i'm sitting with my laptop researching on Nikon D40x and D40. Buying a camera is so hard. There are just so many models, too many functions limited in one, and you just have to read too much to decide to buy something. I guess this is one downside of capitalism. It gave us too many choices that just confuse and discourage the buyer.
I know I should put something more meaningful since I havent been writing as much on this blog... but i got really distracted. I want a SLR camera so bad. My sony camera has been a bitch since last year, and I really wish I had had one SLR when I was in Japan to capture all the beautiful moments and sceneries back then. This is it. This might be the best investment I've ever made.
More will be updated later.
2.27.2008
2.19.2008
weird dream
I had a really weird dream last night.
I woke up... thinking "damn, it was just a dream!"
I dreamt that my ex came over to see me. He told me how much he regretted that we broke up, and he wanted us to get back together. I gave him a hug and started asking why. "Why did you think so?" As much as I always likeD to question his (beloved) love for me. And then I was woken up all of the sudden just like other nightmares or sweet dreams.
Does it just suck when you always have to think about it? What went wrong and what happened? Or why things can never be the same gain?
Once you had something and you lost it. You usually tend to try to find it, or at least find something similar to it.
The time I was single, I was totally fine with being single and all that. And then I got into a relationship. And then I realized how good it felt just to always have someone besides. Then I was back in being single. Now it doesn't really feel like "fine" as before. But again, I dont want to just "have someone", just to "have someone", I have learnt my lessons. Whatever comes comes. I'm just 22, no need to rush, right? hehe
I woke up... thinking "damn, it was just a dream!"
I dreamt that my ex came over to see me. He told me how much he regretted that we broke up, and he wanted us to get back together. I gave him a hug and started asking why. "Why did you think so?" As much as I always likeD to question his (beloved) love for me. And then I was woken up all of the sudden just like other nightmares or sweet dreams.
Does it just suck when you always have to think about it? What went wrong and what happened? Or why things can never be the same gain?
Once you had something and you lost it. You usually tend to try to find it, or at least find something similar to it.
The time I was single, I was totally fine with being single and all that. And then I got into a relationship. And then I realized how good it felt just to always have someone besides. Then I was back in being single. Now it doesn't really feel like "fine" as before. But again, I dont want to just "have someone", just to "have someone", I have learnt my lessons. Whatever comes comes. I'm just 22, no need to rush, right? hehe
megabus
besides the fact that megabus's price is so cheap (about 55$ for a round-trip ticket from Minneapolis to Chicago), these are the downsides of it:
- ALWAYS late! Its true. I took this bus before and it was an hour late. This time, no difference. It was late for an hour before picking us up in Minneapolis. I thought it would be ontime in Chicago since it didnt have to stop anywhere before Chicago, but I was wrong. It was late for another half an hour.
- Some drivers can be very "bitchy". I quoted the word because I didnt use it. Another passenger was pissed at the megabus and even called it the "megabitch" instead of "megabus" which I thought was quite funny. But it was just stupid how we had to wait in the call for her to load the luggages. She could have checked us in the bus first and we'll take care of our luggage on our own.
- The address of the bus stop online was so confusing. They could have indicated the bus stop as 1926 University Ave, and that would be so much simpler than north 3rd and 4th Str Parking, which we have no idea, and its hard to tell the taxi too.
- Okay, I hate it when everytime I tried to sit by myself on the bus, someone who is HUGE is going to sit right next to me, and I have absolutely no more private space. There is no more gap between me and the other person. There WERE other free seats! Why me?
Yeah so that's it for my exhausted experience from the megabus. I was so darn tired coming back to campus on Monday morning. It was such a last-minute plan that I couldnt get any earlier tickets. Anyhows, chicago was alright-fun :D
- ALWAYS late! Its true. I took this bus before and it was an hour late. This time, no difference. It was late for an hour before picking us up in Minneapolis. I thought it would be ontime in Chicago since it didnt have to stop anywhere before Chicago, but I was wrong. It was late for another half an hour.
- Some drivers can be very "bitchy". I quoted the word because I didnt use it. Another passenger was pissed at the megabus and even called it the "megabitch" instead of "megabus" which I thought was quite funny. But it was just stupid how we had to wait in the call for her to load the luggages. She could have checked us in the bus first and we'll take care of our luggage on our own.
- The address of the bus stop online was so confusing. They could have indicated the bus stop as 1926 University Ave, and that would be so much simpler than north 3rd and 4th Str Parking, which we have no idea, and its hard to tell the taxi too.
- Okay, I hate it when everytime I tried to sit by myself on the bus, someone who is HUGE is going to sit right next to me, and I have absolutely no more private space. There is no more gap between me and the other person. There WERE other free seats! Why me?
Yeah so that's it for my exhausted experience from the megabus. I was so darn tired coming back to campus on Monday morning. It was such a last-minute plan that I couldnt get any earlier tickets. Anyhows, chicago was alright-fun :D
2.12.2008
if not for the money, what (job) would you be doing?
That was one of the questions Sarju had to answer for her Senior Key Stone class.
She told me about it, and I was just stroke by it, not because I don't know the answer, but just because how significant it is, and no body ever asked such.
I told her, "You wouldn't be an accountant, would you?" And she kinda agreed with me.
Seriously, what would you become if its not for the money? Will you be doing the same thing as you are right now? Are you happy with your career choice? Would you take a secure job and live it off for the rest of your life, or would you rather do something you like, come in to work with a passion but you don't get paid enough to buy brand name stuff? Would you...
She told me about it, and I was just stroke by it, not because I don't know the answer, but just because how significant it is, and no body ever asked such.
I told her, "You wouldn't be an accountant, would you?" And she kinda agreed with me.
Seriously, what would you become if its not for the money? Will you be doing the same thing as you are right now? Are you happy with your career choice? Would you take a secure job and live it off for the rest of your life, or would you rather do something you like, come in to work with a passion but you don't get paid enough to buy brand name stuff? Would you...
2.10.2008
my eating disorder
... doesnt necessarily mean anorexia but more like bulimia (which refers to excessive eating as opposed to voluntary stavation in anorexia)
Its not official a disorder yet, but I feel like Im coming closer to it.
When I was in Japan or Vietnam, I eat for the pleasure, for the taste, for the art of the food, for the companies of good friends and such.
When I am in America, I eat more for the untraceable crave, the spontanous hobby for junk food, the habit of just spending money for food, the fact that I have nothing else to do than eating (yes, pathetic!), ...
That is quite dangerous now that I start thinking more about it. Anyhows!
----
Just yesterday I said to a friend of mine, "I don't believe in healthy food." I believe in "eating in moderation." In my opinion, there is no such thing as "unhealthy food", there is only "unhealthy choice that people make", and then blame it on the food or the restaurant. Seriously, people in America are exposed to many choices, and of course when it comes to food, they usually tend to choose something in large portions but cost less. However, they do not think about "the cost of getting too much calories when they eat it everyday". So whatever comes comes, which is when they realize they're a bit overweight. And then they start complaining that America doesnt have healthy food. Sorry but it just sounds really ridiculous to me!
So next time, if you look at me and decide to ask me if something is healthy (just cuz I look Asian and I must be a Health Police), ask yourself about the portion of it, and how much times you are eating it, because everything in moderation is always healthy.
Its not official a disorder yet, but I feel like Im coming closer to it.
When I was in Japan or Vietnam, I eat for the pleasure, for the taste, for the art of the food, for the companies of good friends and such.
When I am in America, I eat more for the untraceable crave, the spontanous hobby for junk food, the habit of just spending money for food, the fact that I have nothing else to do than eating (yes, pathetic!), ...
That is quite dangerous now that I start thinking more about it. Anyhows!
----
Just yesterday I said to a friend of mine, "I don't believe in healthy food." I believe in "eating in moderation." In my opinion, there is no such thing as "unhealthy food", there is only "unhealthy choice that people make", and then blame it on the food or the restaurant. Seriously, people in America are exposed to many choices, and of course when it comes to food, they usually tend to choose something in large portions but cost less. However, they do not think about "the cost of getting too much calories when they eat it everyday". So whatever comes comes, which is when they realize they're a bit overweight. And then they start complaining that America doesnt have healthy food. Sorry but it just sounds really ridiculous to me!
So next time, if you look at me and decide to ask me if something is healthy (just cuz I look Asian and I must be a Health Police), ask yourself about the portion of it, and how much times you are eating it, because everything in moderation is always healthy.
2.08.2008
what does it take to "go home"?
Before you read this, let me warn you first that this entry might be one of the most truthful entries of mine. So if you feel annoyed or disturbed and you feel like you haven't really known me, feel free to leave. If you agree, read on and decide yourself about the answer for the question I posted?
Yes, seriously what does it take to "go home"?
What do I mean buy "go home" in this context? The term applies to international students who are going to graduate sooner or later and their student visas will expire; therefore, going home for them basically refers to going back to their motherlands after years of studying abroad in a totally different but rich and well-developed country as compared to their owns.
Its funny cuz I ask what it takes those students to go back, of course "free" since its their countries (well excluding the airplain tickets, obviously) I myself have never thought something "free" could be so hard to do or accomplish.
Lets think about it. Being here for most of your college life (which is by the way can be the most critical time of your life, I believe), you are getting so used to this life-style (this pure capitalist life-style) that you never going to see it again in your country. You have friends here. You have your jobs here. You know your way around. You used to the weather. How does it feel to give up all you have developed for the past years and go back to your home, which is 2nd or 3rd world country.
Here are more of the break-dowm opportunities cost (Im an econ major, i cant help):
- Your drinking and college party
- Your freedom of speech
- Your fun time at the mall, swiping whatever that is one your credit card, because you need to get this cute dress or cute jacket right away, so you can maintain your "you're asian, you're stylish" attitude.
- Your eating out habits, or your ordering pizza on the phone...
- Time/people to speak American English
- Time to speak in class, or anywhere freely if you're pissed about anything
- Your fast and never-break-down internet
- Shame: because how come every one else studied abroad like you and they got the job in the state and you did not.
- All the smily faces around campus
- Laundry (they dont use dryers in your country, sorry!)
- No curfew watsoever!
- Junkie food (well, sometimes it could be sad not to have them, to be totally honest)
- Going to meetings and seriously planning events of your ideas or interests
- Having assets that when you brought back to vietnam, you were thought to be cool and sophisticated to have them
- Think and speak critically
- and a lot more
Although I have used the word "you" a lot above, I personally meant myself, Hang Pham. Only by writing them down, I realize the sacrifice I have to make if I "go home". Isnt it ridiculous in the last 3 years, I always get excited to go home. Now the concept is so much more intimidating because "go home" this time literally means to go back and live there (where I have not lived for 3 years). Sometimes I feel ashamed of myself because I couldnt pass those materialistic things to have the courage to go home, I even faked it by saying "well i dont want to go home yet because I want to work here for a little bit". It is 50% true, however, 50% is more because I was not ready to picture my future life living in Vietnam for the next couple of years.
But... (yes, there is always "but") after I wrote them down and reread it over and over, it was like lightening hit the ground, all of the sudden, I figured "well, they aren't actually that much of of cost, aint they". Why not, because when I think about the benefits of going back, those costs just start disappearing as the benefits I could think of keep increasing.
And here they are:
- Good and delicious food every day.
- Having my own scooter to go pretty much every where (although I hate the helmet)
- Good friends and just great reunions coming
- My own room in the new house (i cant wait to decorate it myself)
- No more worries about family problem since I am now closer to them. At least I can do someting if anything ever happens (heaven forbids)
- Getting my car driver license
- Start working and looking for jobs without skipping those jobs that said "start immediately"
- Volunteering
- Eat dog meat anytime (this is the best!)
- Coffee and cigarettes = the ultimate breakfast dessert
- A chance to learn all the street name in downtown (its actually quite fun)
- House parties are quite possible
- Travel Vietnam as I never made it before.
- Taking great pictures of Hanoi, its just the best city in my heart!
- Open my own business
- Hang out with my wife and celebrate next year's Tet also the same day as her bday
- Attending moon festivals with my girls
- Feel the autumn and spring of Hanoi
- Hang out with the japanese kids from kanda who will be studying abroad there too
- Spending time studying GRE for grad school
- ...
wow, so much to get me excited already. so what do I say, it only takes you to undertake your own fear to "go home", and that is it!
All of the sudden, I just havent felt the pressure for getting a job here at all. And you know something funny, its also when suddenly so many opportunities come knock on my door.
Life is just wonderful!
Yes, seriously what does it take to "go home"?
What do I mean buy "go home" in this context? The term applies to international students who are going to graduate sooner or later and their student visas will expire; therefore, going home for them basically refers to going back to their motherlands after years of studying abroad in a totally different but rich and well-developed country as compared to their owns.
Its funny cuz I ask what it takes those students to go back, of course "free" since its their countries (well excluding the airplain tickets, obviously) I myself have never thought something "free" could be so hard to do or accomplish.
Lets think about it. Being here for most of your college life (which is by the way can be the most critical time of your life, I believe), you are getting so used to this life-style (this pure capitalist life-style) that you never going to see it again in your country. You have friends here. You have your jobs here. You know your way around. You used to the weather. How does it feel to give up all you have developed for the past years and go back to your home, which is 2nd or 3rd world country.
Here are more of the break-dowm opportunities cost (Im an econ major, i cant help):
- Your drinking and college party
- Your freedom of speech
- Your fun time at the mall, swiping whatever that is one your credit card, because you need to get this cute dress or cute jacket right away, so you can maintain your "you're asian, you're stylish" attitude.
- Your eating out habits, or your ordering pizza on the phone...
- Time/people to speak American English
- Time to speak in class, or anywhere freely if you're pissed about anything
- Your fast and never-break-down internet
- Shame: because how come every one else studied abroad like you and they got the job in the state and you did not.
- All the smily faces around campus
- Laundry (they dont use dryers in your country, sorry!)
- No curfew watsoever!
- Junkie food (well, sometimes it could be sad not to have them, to be totally honest)
- Going to meetings and seriously planning events of your ideas or interests
- Having assets that when you brought back to vietnam, you were thought to be cool and sophisticated to have them
- Think and speak critically
- and a lot more
Although I have used the word "you" a lot above, I personally meant myself, Hang Pham. Only by writing them down, I realize the sacrifice I have to make if I "go home". Isnt it ridiculous in the last 3 years, I always get excited to go home. Now the concept is so much more intimidating because "go home" this time literally means to go back and live there (where I have not lived for 3 years). Sometimes I feel ashamed of myself because I couldnt pass those materialistic things to have the courage to go home, I even faked it by saying "well i dont want to go home yet because I want to work here for a little bit". It is 50% true, however, 50% is more because I was not ready to picture my future life living in Vietnam for the next couple of years.
But... (yes, there is always "but") after I wrote them down and reread it over and over, it was like lightening hit the ground, all of the sudden, I figured "well, they aren't actually that much of of cost, aint they". Why not, because when I think about the benefits of going back, those costs just start disappearing as the benefits I could think of keep increasing.
And here they are:
- Good and delicious food every day.
- Having my own scooter to go pretty much every where (although I hate the helmet)
- Good friends and just great reunions coming
- My own room in the new house (i cant wait to decorate it myself)
- No more worries about family problem since I am now closer to them. At least I can do someting if anything ever happens (heaven forbids)
- Getting my car driver license
- Start working and looking for jobs without skipping those jobs that said "start immediately"
- Volunteering
- Eat dog meat anytime (this is the best!)
- Coffee and cigarettes = the ultimate breakfast dessert
- A chance to learn all the street name in downtown (its actually quite fun)
- House parties are quite possible
- Travel Vietnam as I never made it before.
- Taking great pictures of Hanoi, its just the best city in my heart!
- Open my own business
- Hang out with my wife and celebrate next year's Tet also the same day as her bday
- Attending moon festivals with my girls
- Feel the autumn and spring of Hanoi
- Hang out with the japanese kids from kanda who will be studying abroad there too
- Spending time studying GRE for grad school
- ...
wow, so much to get me excited already. so what do I say, it only takes you to undertake your own fear to "go home", and that is it!
All of the sudden, I just havent felt the pressure for getting a job here at all. And you know something funny, its also when suddenly so many opportunities come knock on my door.
Life is just wonderful!
2.07.2008
a question on second-hand smokers?
So yesterday at Entrepreneurship class, my professor brought in this speaker to talk about opening a business, how to start, how to manage your business, what kind of thing you will be facing, what you have to prepare and whatnot.
Anyhows, he was quite a successful man in a cigar business in Minnesota. The whole talk was amazing and very persuasive until he started talking about second-hand smokers, which stroke me the most. Basically, he was saying that there is not enough evidence to prove that second-hand smokers actually suffer more from the smoke than first-hand smokers. Claiming that he had read enough research and the theory was not legitimate enough, he got questioned by a lot of us but firmly responded back by saying "don't even go there", so none of us questioned him again. However, that starled me and caused me to want to look more into this type of research... and I havent, but really, its a question of do you trust a cigar business man talking about second-hand smokers or do you take for granted whatever the American Lung Associations say?
Again, he had made his reputation during 1 hour talk, and we so believed in whatever he said that even we questioned a fact that every body were just kinda born to know?
How powerful people with money or articulate intelligence can mislead you, huh?
------ Manipulative statistically : I like that word!
Anyhows, he was quite a successful man in a cigar business in Minnesota. The whole talk was amazing and very persuasive until he started talking about second-hand smokers, which stroke me the most. Basically, he was saying that there is not enough evidence to prove that second-hand smokers actually suffer more from the smoke than first-hand smokers. Claiming that he had read enough research and the theory was not legitimate enough, he got questioned by a lot of us but firmly responded back by saying "don't even go there", so none of us questioned him again. However, that starled me and caused me to want to look more into this type of research... and I havent, but really, its a question of do you trust a cigar business man talking about second-hand smokers or do you take for granted whatever the American Lung Associations say?
Again, he had made his reputation during 1 hour talk, and we so believed in whatever he said that even we questioned a fact that every body were just kinda born to know?
How powerful people with money or articulate intelligence can mislead you, huh?
------ Manipulative statistically : I like that word!
2.06.2008
First Entry
Hi! Welcome to my blog!
As of this moment, I have 2 blogs, one on Yahoo 360, and one is this one on blogspot.
Yahoo sucks really bad lately. There have been a lot of problems for people to comment on my blogs or private-messaging me. I tried to email them and asked them to fix it. Guess what? They told me to live with it (well, they didnt literally say that, but thats basically it), and the reason was because they are too busy working on another blog project. Ok! Screw that, you don't even know how to fix this Yahoo 360 thingy, then how do you expect to work on another project. I hope it will never work for u guys! :P a**h***.
Anyhow, the second reason for me to start a new blog is the fact that lately I've been inspired by a lot of people writing their blogs about issues around themselves. It struck me suddenly but quite expectly, since I think I have not been thinking seriously about pretty much anything around me. I probably did at some points, but I never talked or gave my opinions on it. All I have been writing in Yahoo 360 was mostly about my own life, how much fun I had on weekend, I meant its good to a certain extent, but I feel like there are a lot more I can write about. Being in Yahoo 360 and friends with (maybe a lot of) strangers who I never really talked to in real life ocassionally makes me hesitate to write something down on Yahoo 360. The thing with blogspot is you don't need "friends" connected to you. It's not a network thing. It's the personal space thing, but every one can still read your thoughts. Whereas, yahoo 360 is more like a networking site, and the point to update your blog is sometimes just to show off to some body else your stuff, rather than trying to address issues and thinking about it critically.
So with this blog, which is very much more of my personal space, I am going to try to write as much as I can about my own opion, so if you like it, read on. If you dont, excuse you! :P
As of this moment, I have 2 blogs, one on Yahoo 360, and one is this one on blogspot.
Yahoo sucks really bad lately. There have been a lot of problems for people to comment on my blogs or private-messaging me. I tried to email them and asked them to fix it. Guess what? They told me to live with it (well, they didnt literally say that, but thats basically it), and the reason was because they are too busy working on another blog project. Ok! Screw that, you don't even know how to fix this Yahoo 360 thingy, then how do you expect to work on another project. I hope it will never work for u guys! :P a**h***.
Anyhow, the second reason for me to start a new blog is the fact that lately I've been inspired by a lot of people writing their blogs about issues around themselves. It struck me suddenly but quite expectly, since I think I have not been thinking seriously about pretty much anything around me. I probably did at some points, but I never talked or gave my opinions on it. All I have been writing in Yahoo 360 was mostly about my own life, how much fun I had on weekend, I meant its good to a certain extent, but I feel like there are a lot more I can write about. Being in Yahoo 360 and friends with (maybe a lot of) strangers who I never really talked to in real life ocassionally makes me hesitate to write something down on Yahoo 360. The thing with blogspot is you don't need "friends" connected to you. It's not a network thing. It's the personal space thing, but every one can still read your thoughts. Whereas, yahoo 360 is more like a networking site, and the point to update your blog is sometimes just to show off to some body else your stuff, rather than trying to address issues and thinking about it critically.
So with this blog, which is very much more of my personal space, I am going to try to write as much as I can about my own opion, so if you like it, read on. If you dont, excuse you! :P
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