I went to the first Vietnamese wedding in my life today as one who used to work with and know the groom. I need to stress out the fact that I know the groom because in Vietnam, people sometimes just go to a wedding without knowing much about the couple getting married. Like I went to one with my mom before and it kinda sucked.
Basically there are a lot of processes to go through to get married. Let just say this couple want to spend the rest of their lives together. The guy's parents after agreeing on his choice will go to the bride's house to ask for her parents permission to have a wedding. They have to bring in trays with lots of different items on them such as betel leaves, nuts, wine and so on. If the bride's parent agree, then they went on and talk about good date. But thats in the old time, I think now the abovementioned process is just only a superficial custom, both sides already know they have permission to get married and they actually decide the date before that process.
Then after that comes a wedding day. On this day, the groom's parents and relatives will go to the bride's house to literally "take her out of the house" as that symbolize the fact that the bride is now with her husband and they have taken the vows to live with each other to the rest of their lives. Then it comes celebration dinner which I joined today with my colleagues to toast to the couple's happiness.
Usually celebration dinner is the most superficial thing but inevitable on a wedding day. Guests from both sides of the couples and the couples'PARENTs are invited. So basically its a huge sitting-style dinner, and not a lot of people know each other. Imagine we as co-workers with the groom sitting and eating in the same table with guests of the groom or the bride's parents. God knows what we can share and talk about. Also at the wedding celebration, the bride, groom and their parents will be standing at the gate to greet the guests. The guests are supposed to come in, and greet and of course put a little "evelop" into a heart-shaped box located at the entrance. I really prefer the western ideas of guests bring in some well-wrapped gifts for the couple rather than money. This is something that kinda bugs me. Afterwards, guests are directed to their tables and when pretty much all the guests are present, the party begins. There was an MC at the wedding today so he introduced briefly about the couple and the parents. The coupl then cut their wedding cake then poured out some champane. As much as they needed to sit down and enjoy since it was their wedding (not others), they had to stand up and went give toasts to .. um im guessing they are only familiar with 25-30% of the guests their. Keep smiling, they moved from table to table. The funny thing is as soon as they were done with the last toast, the table which got the first toast finished eating and started to leave. Needless to say, the groom and the bride went to the gate again to say goodbye and thanks to the guests.
We were lucky to get some pictures with the groom, but he seemed so busy. Poor guy.
Of course we all couldnt avoid feeling "we want to get married, too"... but this whole process kinda frustrated me. Vietnam really needs a professional wedding planner service!
