Just got off the phone with mom... so frustrated. The more I talk to my parents, the more I feel like I have made a right decision to leave them and came here.
Why cant she just be nice and ask about my feelings, about my graduation, about my friends, rather than just calling to check if I have paid off my bill, my balance, or whether I will REALLY get a HARD COPY of the diploma, since its very important to show employers the diploma when you're looking for a job!
Asian parents sure DO NOT know how to take care of their kids emotionally! They think that as long as they're giving their kids enough financial support, they can tell us to do whatever they want (maybe Im being too extreme, but that is seriously the case of my parents).
Dad called in the other day when he was in LasVegas. Awkward. He told me he got to VeGas, and that was it. It was silent. Then he went on telling me to finish my exam well, and we hung up.
Sometimes I am so jealous with the American kids. Their parents are like their good friends. Whatever problems the kids have, they talk to their parents. I'm jealous when the kids her talk so proudly about their parents, about how they hang out together once in a while. Their parents picked them up to go eat out. Their parents send them "care package" at the beginning of the semester. Their parents paid their car-insurance. Their parents watch TV with them and discuss about political debate. Their parents do all the moving-in works for them into the dorms... their parents...
Maybe because Asian parents don't do such things so the Asian kids always try to be the brave one, the one that can handles everything on their own, or the independent one. That's kind of good in a way because I really like how I have become.
But sometimes, it just hurt, you know, that I couldn't talk to my parents as one of my friends.
About Me
- Hang Pham
- Minneapolis, MN, United States
- Born and raised in Hanoi, Vietnam, but currently studying abroad in MN, US, I am very fortunate to be exposed to a lot of new ideas, values and cultures. It HAS BEEN CHANGING me and has become part of me. I am temporarily still under a lot of changes and trying to understand myself more. I guess only by writing a blog, it will be easier to see myself and my identity and what the meaning of life is.
3 comments:
Yea Asian parents are less in touch with their emotions. My parents have always been different for some reason. They once told me that it was because of me that they've changed. It was because I show them a lot of my emotions that they've decided to become more emotionally open with me as well.
And also, they are marriage and parent counselors, they understand the need for kids to see their parents as just normal human beings.
But of course, I still cannot deny that Asian parents are completely different from American parents.
you cannot blame them for their lack of emotional support, you know? Put yourself in their shoes, use your mind to travel back in time. To the time when your parents were young. Back to when they were growing up and how their parents raised them. Whatever your parents learned they learned through your grandparents and your ancestors before. The environment in which they grew up differs greatly from your own. The world is changing whether for the best or worst. It is more difficult for children of minority to grow up in America. A culture that differs greatly from their own - Cultural barriers. It makes it hard for you and your parents to relate because you grow up in different worlds. They don't have anything to try to relate to you. They have their fears also. You cannot ignore that fact. With nothing to relate to you and no way to help you all they can do is supply you with financial support.
Take with you the cruelty of the world and make it better when you have your own family. Do everything the opposite of what your parents taught you. Fill in the gaps that you lacked while growing up. You are the change.
We, as humans have dug a hole so deep we cannot climb out. Now that the world is so revolved around money, it is difficult to escape the notion of obtaining money. In the end money will cause our own demise.
But maybe you shouldn't listen to me because i hate my parents so much, you know? lol.
oh im asking that they could be more understanding with our feelings, I hate it so much when they talk about money to me. Its like our relationship is only money-based, you know.
anyway, thank you guys. you know that now Im complaining about my parents but in the future, I will be most likely to act like them hahah, thats y im trying to be away from them as much as I can.
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